You know, when you think that travel abroad or leaving your hometown for a while will make you forget a thing that you are hardly to let go; that’s wrong.
It’s not about the places, new people, or how much new memories that you want to create. Cause whenever you go, you know where your heart…
Ceritanya ingin coba naik busway buat main di Jakarta. Satunya anak Bandung yang lagi netep di Balikpapan, satunya lagi anak Bandung yg udah setengah tahun tinggal di Jakarta tapi masih buta public transport. Sampai di tujuan ternyata salah lokasi, ujung2nya nyari2 taksi. Mana sebelum sampai ada kejadian telat turun dan akhirnya salah satu anak tadi kebawa ke halte berikutnya. Sampe di lokasi kepisah gara2 penuh banget penontonnya, ketemu2 baju sudah basah kuyup dan kepaksa pulang sebelum acara selesai. Selalu ada aja yang lucu kalo pergi sama anak ini. Terimakasih ya…today was great! with @aris_pribadi – Read on Path.
Throwing back memories months ago, its weird for someone i never knew before turn into the one who i care and i need alot. Since the day i met that person, i couldn’t resist my feeling to shared everything that i never did before with other. But…its getting worst, i meant, about his presence in my day. I’m craving his presence anytime, crying baby to get his attention, meanwhile i know…i love someone already and he does so. Well, not sure what kind of feeling it is. I’ve try to found out, but i only met another branch of unanswered question. Dafuq.
18 May, 2013.
Taken from my personal journal.
I love this song. I remember the first time I heard this song (well the intro to it at least) was when I was watching the last episode of Friends. It was the moment when Rachel was about to leave for Paris, and Ross wanting to say how much he loves Rachel, chases Rachel to the airport. Ross arrives at the airport only to find he’s at the wrong airport and cue sad alternative rock music.
That was 2004. 9 years ago.
And here I am now, writing, sharing the things I’ve learned throughout the years.
I was cloud gazing with a stranger a few days ago that I met on the road, you meet the most beautiful people when you travel. As we were cloud gazing together and sharing our horribly tasting vegetarian Subway (it was the goddamn sauce, a piece of advice - fresh avocados, mayonnaise, ranch and chipotle sauce don’t really go well together) with the dark clouds looming over the horizon, he sneered and looked at me in the eyes and asked me a very simple question.
A question that starts with the word how. How despite all the sufferings, pains, agonies one has endured or witnessed, perhaps even at a daily continuum, how can one remain sane?
How to stay sane in this rather, no not rather, but in this definitely insane, sadistic, malevolent, egoistic world we live in? To be constantly, daily, exposed to death and destruction, thanks to the media, to be constantly pressured into social norms and societal expectations thanks to our society.
With my stomach-turning Subway sandwich on one hand and freshly cut green grass on the other, which I don’t even remember on how and why I was clutching on to that, I stopped chewing on the rubbery texture of the hopefully freshly toasted sandwich and pondered on this immortal question.
At this point one would assume, how pessimistic these two people are of the world. Isn’t there beauty? happiness? joy? hope for humanity in this world we live in? Yes of course there is.
But is that how we want to stay sane? To push away, to turn a blind eye towards the sufferings of the world and choose to only see the goodness of the world? Is that what it means to live in this world?
To deny suffering?
Rather unrealistic of us.
If that is how we choose to see the world. Then staying sane is easy, it is to shut our minds and our hearts towards the sufferings of the world. Not merely the sufferings of people thousand of kilometres away that have been devastated by wars, famine, natural disasters and everything else you can think of but the sufferings that are clear and visible, that is there in front of you. That old, lonely man begging for spare change on the side of the street you pass everyday when you run off to work or school or that student who sits alone struggling to make friends, struggling to fit with the rest. It is this that we must face. Sanity is to maintain a status quo. it is to be well adjusted in a society that is sick and yet we do nothing about it, it is to conform.
What we need is not to merely witness and personally experience suffering which we will all endure if not yet but it is to also dwell in it, question it, to look into its hollow eyes and face it and not run away from it.
All this will lead us to a shift in reality, a shift in our perspective of life as a whole. As the understanding of suffering permeates the entirety of our being.
It is at this process of trying to understand suffering where we come to insanity. How do you respond to a world filled with insanity? By being insane. No, not insane as one would see Hitler as insane or to come up with a radical inhumane solution to our problems. That is insanity that is carried out only to fulfil the egoistic desires of one’s self.
What we need is insanity that is founded on compassion which in itself is grounded by the understanding that everyone suffers not only me. To understand that suffering is universal, there is no Indonesian suffering, there is no Muslim suffering, there is no Christian suffering, there is no my suffering. Suffering is suffering.
To be insane it is to question yourself, that is insanity. As we constantly believe that the problems are always outside us, never within us. If that’s how a sane person sees the world then I wish to be insane.
The society consists of you, so if you wish to see society change, then you must change. That is insanity, to change yourself is a process of deconstructing one’s self, to go deep within one’s self. That is insanity.As to question yourself means to question what ever ideas society has instilled in you. To question yourself is to question society, it is to part ways with what society believes. That is insanity.
To be sane in this world is to do things without a hint of doubt and questioning and stopping.
To be insane, is to be the opposite of that. It is to be aware of yourself.
Why am doing this? Why am I buying this? Why am eating this? Why am I engaging in this? Why do I believe in this? Why do I want to be popular and well known? What’s pushing me to do this?
We have been immensely intoxicated and deadened by our desires to want to fit in or perhaps loved by the masses which in itself is perhaps because we’re lacking in personal intimate love, that we’ll do just about anything to do so.
We are constantly critical of the things outside of us, yet seldom critical of the things inside us.
So question. Be critical of yourself.
and be lonely if you must.
“didn’t I tell you not to be satisfied with the veil of this world?” - Rumi
I do really agree with this tought!